Monday, June 29, 2009

Make a wish

As the days of your infancy are dwindling down, I watch in awe as the baby that just one year ago was kicking inside me practically run across the room . I don't know why but the knowledge of your journey to becoming a toddler has been especially emotional one for me. This means a whole year has elapsed. A year of so many changes and milestones. Your age will now be in years, no longer weeks or months. A whole year without you inside me. I try and remember the way it felt being pregnant. A lot changes in the passing of a year and my mind has forgotten many things. I place my hand to my stomach and find it hard to remember what it felt like to have you inside. July 3 - that was my due date. That was the day you were due to make your debut in the world. One year ago today - July 3 that was my last day at work.

I remember that last day at work, your due date. I remember packing my stuff up for the day and it was then that it really hit me. The next time I walked through these doors I would be a mother, this is the last time I would be able to take you to work with me. This was the last time we would share secret moments at my desk, in meetings, with you kicking inside me. Tapping on my belly from the inside. From now on - you would be out in the world for all to see, for all to know, for all to feel. It wouldn't be "Just us" any longer.
As I drove off I was overcome with tears, I could not control it. I was full on sobbing. Life as I knew it would never be the same, my dreams were finally about to come true.

For three years I prayed for you across barren months.

I dreamed of you with waking sadness.

I wished for you on birthday candles.

Baby girl, wishes do come true.


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